STEVIE: In local sports, Fibonacci High School brutally massacred Meatloaf Memorial High last night. Local and federal agencies are still hard at work trying to piece together what caused this unfortunate incident. Rumors are floating around that it had to do with some sort of sporting activity, but no official word as of this morning. The current casualty count stands at six students, seven school officials, and eight stray cats used as bludgeoning tools.