The Promise October 22, 2018

The Promise, a 2017 Thai horror film from director Sophon Sakdaphisit, is all about the bond between two best friends, Ib and Boum. When the market crash of 1997 sees the abrupt end of their family’s fortune and stability, the two ultimately make a suicide pact. But when one of them backs out at the […]

The Secrets of Emily Blair October 21, 2018

The Secrets of Emily Blair, from director Joseph P. Genier, is just another demon possession movie along the lines of The Exorcist. A nurse is attacked by a Dr. Giggles, something gross gets on-and-or-in her, and then she starts seeing weird things, acts weird, and generally all Puzuzu-y while her boyfriend is left to sort this […]

FirstBorn October 20, 2018

FirstBorn, from Nirpal Bhogal, is a moody, slow burn movie about a young couple, their first child, and them being plagued by ghost stuff. For years and years, apparently. I can’t tell if I love or hate FirstBorn. The first ten minutes is this slow, drawn-out sequence of a young couple on a night out, learning […]

Satanic October 19, 2018

Satanic, from director Jeffrey G. Hunt, is apparently about a group of friends who, for whatever reason, detour to some true-crime hotspots in Los Angeles only to find out that this is always a bad idea in horror movies. I guess. Because you won’t gather any of that from the way this movie opens. This […]

Most Likely to Die October 18, 2018

Most Likely to Die, from director Anthony DiBlasi, features a group of twenty-somethings (played by actors well into their 30s and 40s) all set to pre-game like crazy before their ten-year high school reunion. But when a masked killer starts picking them off one by one, they’ll realize they’re in yet another dull, uninspired slasher […]

Dig Two Graves October 17, 2018

Dig Two Graves, from writer-director Hunter Adams, features Samantha Isler as Jake Mather, a young girl struggling to cope with the death of her brother. But when three mysterious men claim to have the power to bring her brother back from the dead, Jake will find herself wrapped up in a dark, twisted game where […]

Veronica October 16, 2018

Veronica, from director and co-writer Paco Plaza, features Sandra Escacena as the titular Veronica, a catholic school girl from Madrid who finds herself under the thumb of an evil spirit after she and some friends use a Ouija board. I’ve seen it. You’ve seen it. We’ve all seen it. I honestly feel a little cheated. […]

Bedeviled October 15, 2018

Bedeviled, from Abel and Burlee Vang, is basically an app-based version of The Ring or A Nightmare on Elm Street, in so much that a group of kids find themselves haunted and killed by a mysterious entity preying on those who download a smartphone app. That’s it. Fuck this movie. It’s bad enough that Bedeviled […]

Nightworld October 14, 2018

Nightworld, from Patricio Valladares, is about a depressing loser can’t stop dreaming and being sad about his dead wife, then his buddy gets him a job. S’bout as far as I can make of it from the first ten minutes of this non-movie. Lotta movies open with that same slow-as-shit, fuckin’ drone shot of the […]

The Rift: The Dark Side of the Moon October 13, 2018

The Rift: The Darkside of the Moon, from director Dejan Zecevic–and not to be confused with all the other movies called The Rift, including the one that came out the same year as this “damp squid” of a movie. But this turnip of a movie is what happens when you have an idea about a […]

Truth or Dare October 12, 2018

Truth or Dare, from director Nick Simon–and definitely not to be confused with the 2018 movie of the exact same name and concept–features a group of college kids visiting a spooky old house for a bit of morbid Halloween fun. But as the night continues, they soon find their innocent party games turned into a […]

Seven in Heaven October 11, 2018

Seven in Heaven, from actor-turned-writer-director Chis Eigeman, features Travis Tope as Jude, a dorky but nice kid whose dad is dead. But then he goes to a part and finds a magic closet that takes him to a world where his dad isn’t dead. But that doesn’t matter because everyone’s crazy and mean. And now […]

Last Shift October 10, 2018

Last Shift, from co-writer and director Anthony DiBlasi, features Juliana Harkavy as Jessica, a rookie cop tasked with babysitting an old police station on its last night of operation. But as the night grows long, Jessica quickly discovers that the station is housing something more sinister than a few leftover files and bits of evidence. […]

The Open House October 9, 2018

The Open House, from the writing-directing pair of Matt Angel and Suzanne Coote, features Dylan Minnette as Logan Wallace, a young man with a bright future ripped away from him in much the same manner as a speeding van ripped his father in half when it ran him over in the alleyway behind a liquor […]

Emelie October 8, 2018

Emelie, from director Michael Thelin, features Sarah Bolger as the titular Emelie, a young woman playing last-minute substitute for a family’s usual babysitter. But unfortunately for this family, Emelie isn’t the replacement they were expecting. Sometimes movies start great, and then immediately fuck it up. This is one of those. I gave Emelie about twenty […]

The Boy October 7, 2018

The Boy, from director William Brent Bell, and every bit as uninteresting as its title suggests, features Lauren Cohan as Greta, a boring American who takes a job as a nanny in the British countryside. But when she finds out the boy she’s tasked with taking care of is a goddamn doll and not, in […]

Darkness Rising October 6, 2018

Darkness Rising, from director Austin Reading, follows a group of idiots who break into their friend’s abandoned childhood home only to be plagued by ghosts. Spooky stuff happens. People die, probably. I’m not sure. The page 10 moment happened three minutes in, and consisted entirely of Ted Raimi in old-timey clothes playing hide and seek […]

Stephanie October 5, 2018

Stephanie, from director Akiva Goldsman–the writer behind movies such as A Beautiful Mind, Cinderella Man, and Batman & Robin (Yes, those were all by the same guy)–features Shree Crooks as the titular Stephanie, a young girl who has been living alone ever since her family disappeared following a mysterious global incident. And until the day […]

III: The Ritual October 4, 2018

III: The Ritual, from director Pavel Khvaleev, is, apparently, about two sisters living in a small, plague-riddled European town. Their mother has just died, and now the younger of the two sisters is also dying, leaving Polina Davyadova’s Aya little choice but to use a strange, ancient ritual if she wishes to save her sister’s […]

Before I Wake October 3, 2018

Before I Wake, from director and co-writer Mike Flanagan, features Thomas Jane and Kate Bosworth as a pair of weird, but wholly boring parents still grieving the accidental death of their young son. Fortunately, they’ve just been approved to adopt a replacement kid. But unfortunately for them, this one has nightmares that are very real. […]