Bright is a strange movie in that it presents a great basic concept but has absolutely no interest in presenting any of its ideas or themes in a convincing manner. It’s a deadly serious movie that constantly trips over itself with terrible attempts at jokes that it thinks are witty. It’s a movie that flashes its racial themes from the very start only to abandon such things almost entirely about halfway through. And despite the ever-present fantasy elements of orcs, faeries, and elves, the movie never really does much with them.


Directed by David Ayer and based on a screenplay by Max Landis, Bright feels as unoriginal as it is. Because despite the genre mash-up, the movie itself is little more than a by-the-numbers cop drama.

Nick Jakoby, played here by Joel Edgerton, is rookie police officer and a Tolkien-styled Orc treated by humans and elves as nothing more than some poor, violent creature despite his efforts to rise above the stereotypes applied to his entire race for two-thousand years. He’s acclimated to whatever passes for general human culture. He does not act or talk like a stereotypical Orc. He doesn’t even partake in deep-rooted cultural traditions in the hopes of being better accepted by humans. But the police force, including his partner Daryl Ward (Will Smith), want him gone. Not for anything he’s done wrong, of course. Jakoby being an orc is simply bad enough.

But by becoming a cop, he’s also seen as a race-traitor by other Orcs, specifically those who live down to the same generic stereotypes usually associated with black and Latino gangs in Los Angeles

This all eventually leads to a confrontation with some corrupt cops who will do anything to see Jakoby removed from his position on the force, including having his partner kill and frame him for a crime he didn’t commit.

But when Ward puts honor and pride above deep-rooted racism, he finds a target on his own back. And now he and Jakoby must evade capture while also trying to figure a way to clear their names.

There’s also something about a cult, an ancient prophecy, and a magic wand. But none of this really matters or amounts to much outside of two key scenes.


And this really does summarize everything wrong with Bright: it’s formulaic and uninterested in being interesting.

The first half of the film is all about racism in American society by way of Los Angeles. But then the movie decides it’d rather focus on police corruption by way of cliche 80s action movies. And then, in a few places, it instead becomes about some pointless ancient prophecy and other fantasy nonsense.

In the end, the movie isn’t about anything. There’s no story. The characters are little more than placeholders playing out a generic plot with a fantasy twist. And its serious, weighty themes are just an excuse to provide a thin, pretentious veneer on a shallow cliche with nothing of value to say.

But worst of all, the movie doesn’t care.

At best, the racism simply reinforces old fantasy tropes of Elves being beautiful and good, Orcs ugly and evil, and humans being somewhere in-between. At worst, it’s a lazy plot device. There’s no attempt at commentary or playing with expectations. In fact, Jakoby and his struggle is hardly the focus here. Will Smith is front and center as a racist police officer who reluctantly becomes a little less racist as the movie drags on.

The drama of two police officers struggling to survive in Los Angeles with gangs, a cult, and the entire police department after them lacks any degree of tension. It never feels like our leads are in real danger. Every scene feels like its impatiently trying to rush to the next. And Jakoby and Ward never feel like they’re bonding through any of it.

And the movie’s few action sequences are just as formulaic and unexciting. There’s a bland car chase. A bland shootout at a nightclub. And a couple of brief, bland magical showdowns that exist just to remind us that we’re watching a genre mash-up.


The movie isn’t hard to watch. And it’s far from the being the worst movie of 2017. It’s not even the worst movie carrying the “Netflix Original” branding this year.

That said, Bright is an underwhelming, disappointing mess of a movie that completely squanders every idea (and dollar) it attempts to juggle. There is no nuance. No subtlety. And despite marketing to the contrary, this is not a blockbuster-caliber experience. In fact, the movie doesn’t even attempt to reach mock-buster levels of spectacle.

I’m sure there will be some misguided audience that will find enjoyment in the fact that this movie exists. But unless you’re desperate for a lazy attempt to blend Training Day with Lord of the Rings, your time will be better spent elsewhere. (Oddly enough, I think it’s worth noting that had Ayer used movies like Lethal Weapon or Beverly Hills Cop as reference rather than more serious fare, Bright might have actually stood a chance. Maybe.)

Bright is easily a NO CHILL.


On this episode of The Nightly Chill, we look at Japanese action-horror-fantasy flick, Tag (aka Riaru Onigokko)!

Tag, from director Sion Sono, is a Japanese action-horror-fantasy movie that follows Reina Treindl as Mitsuko, a
mousy high school student who suddenly finds herself lost in an increasingly strange multiverse, slipping from one strange but familiar world to the next, losing track of who she really is with every new leap.


Tag is, quite possibly, the most bizarre movie I’ve come across in years. It’s not particularly good. The acting is wooden more often than not. And whatever it’s attempting to pass off as a story or thematic elements are vague at best and totally off point at worst.

But it’s so delightfully surreal that you have almost no choice but to continue watching just to see where Sono takes the movie next.

One moment, we’re watching an entire class of high school students being brutally butchered by some supernatural force. The next we’re watching high school girls having a philosophical discussion about quantum theory and multiverses. And then we suddenly have a whole different actress playing Mitsuko, only this time it’s yet another world set a decade in the future and she’s about to get married in front of a sea of strangers. And things somehow only get even more strange from there.


But while this does prove interesting in the abstract, the movie suffers greatly from this lack of a clear vision and

The idea of some Alice in Wonderland-type coming of age story where a young woman tries to figure out who she really is while simultaneously finding herself in alternate realities is compelling in and of itself. But when the movie is far more focused on being strange and playing with its heady themes in an admittedly childish manner, rather than making any real attempts to tell a story, it feels sort of pointless. Which is precisely what Tag is–pointless.

In fact, the movie revels so much in being pointless that it eventually ends by literally walking away from everything. No answers. No clarifications. It simply gives up and goes home.

Now, there’s some vague implication that Mitsuko has resolved her journey, some completion to her arc–that she
finally comes to terms with who she is as a person…but that doesn’t actually happen. The conflict the movie does resolve is one that pops up later in the film rather than the one we’ve been watching for the previous hour.

At no point do we really see Mitsuko struggling with her place in the world or her self-image. The movie simply leaps
right into the strange from the start. And because of this, we never really get to spend any personal time with Mitsuko. We never see or even hear what’s going on in her head. It’s just her being dragged from one place to the next while other characters talk at Mitsuko (and thus us, the audience). In short, Mitsuko is less a character and more of an avatar for the audience.

So aside from being too quiet and reserved, we don’t really know who or what Mitsuko is. She’s just a blank slate with no real personality or interests. An unknown victim in a cosmic

Now, the movie could have shown her growing from this aggravating, indecisive scaredy cat teenager into a secure,
determined young woman. But instead, the movie simply has other characters instructing Mitsuko what to do at every turn. She never grows. She’s never interesting, certainly not to the extent of everything else around her. And then it all just sort of ends with no real payoff.


Short, pointless, paced like it has no desire to get to the end…Tag shouldn’t be anywhere as enjoyable as it is. There’s plenty of reasons to even enjoy the ride only to retroactively find yourself disappointed by it all. And yet Tag is still worth CHILLING with should you be in the mood for something way left of normal.