A COLLEGE LECTURE HALL. PROFESSOR JIGGLE NIPPLESON SPEAKS. THEIR ASSISTANT SITS ON A NEARBY STOOL, DRESSED IN A SILLY COSTUME.
PROFESSOR: Good evening, class. I am Professor Jiggle Nippleson, and welcome to tonight’s special lecture on subverting expectations. (GESTURES) Aiding me tonight is my assistant, Craigbert. (TO ASSISTANT) All set, Craigbert?
ASSISTANT: (NODS) I think so.
PROFESSOR SHOOTS ASSISTANT DEAD.
AN UNCOMFORTABLE SILENCE. THEN…
Now. As you can see, Craigbert never even suspected that I would casually execute them without hesitation.
CLASS OOHS AND AAHS AS THEY SLOWLY GET IT.
You might be asking yourself, “Is Craigbert really dead?”… or, “Can I learn to do this myself?”… or perhaps, “Do they have a book I can buy?”
The answer to all those questions, I’m happy to tell you, is “yes.” Yes, I do have a book you can buy, and it is very, very expensive.