The Hour of Our Demise

STEVE: Hello, and welcome to “The Hour of Our Demise.” Our guest this week is Juliandro Fries, notorious bedwetter and fabled garden dweller, who recently passed away next week after discovering they couldn’t fly. This came several hours after discovering they’d left their passport at home, returned home to fetch it, and later drowned in an unrelated ungated carpool incident. Thank you for joining us, Juliandro.

JULIANDRO: Excuse me. Did you just say I’m going to drown next week?

STEVE: Not everything is about you, you know.