The Job: Rabid Frenzy

A BIRTHDAY PARTY IN SOMEONE’S BACKYARD. CHEAP, YET OVERPRICED PARTY DECORATIONS. EXHAUSTED ADULTS. UNMUZZLED CHILDREN OFF THEIR LEASHES.

RILEY: (VOICE-OVER) We don’t do it for the money. The Job is about passion. It’s about dedication to a craft. You can’t get into this business expecting fortune and glory. Mostly because the pay is shit.

CUT TO:

RILEY RABID, A HEFTY MAN IN PLEATHER, ADDRESSES THE CAMERA.

RILEY: My name is Riley Rabid, and I am one half of the tag-team “Rabid Frenzy”, along with my partner, Freddy Frenzy.

CUT TO:

TWO BACKYARD WRESTLERS, DRESSED IN TATTERED STREET CLOTHES AND NO PROTECTION, “COMPETE” IN A MAKESHIFT RING WITH MAKESHIFT WEAPONS. SEVERAL PARTY GUESTS WATCH.

RILEY WATCHES THIS FROM A SAFE DISTANCE.

RILEY: Look at those guys. Killing each other for free. That’s the difference between professionals and backyarders. This is our life. This is who we are, every day, all day. We aren’t a couple of “weekend warriors” looking to make a quick buck and a bad joke of the business, ya know.

WRESTLER #2 BEATS WRESTLER #1 WITH A VCR.

I mean, we do work weekends. Almost exclusively, now that I think about it. But that’s only because most shows are on the weekend.

CUT TO:

BACKYARD WRESTLER #1 TEARS OUT THE THROAT OF WRESTLER #2’S, CELEBRATES BY DRINKING THE BLOOD OF THEIR FALLEN FOE. PARTY GUESTS POLITELY CLAP.

RILEY: You’d never catch me doing that sort of thing for free. No, sir.

FREDDY FRENZY, A FLABBY MAN IN PLEATHER, WADDLES UP TO RILEY.

(TO FREDDY) How’d it go?

FREDDY: (HANDS RILEY A FIVER) I talked the mom into paying us half upfront.

RILEY: Nice.

FREDDY: Get ready. We’re up next.

RILEY PUTS ON A BIG, RED CLOWN NOSE.

RILEY: I’m always ready.

FREDDY PUTS ON A COlORFUL WIG AND RED NOSE.

FREDDY: Let’s do this.

THEY HIGH FIVE AND WADDLE OFF TO JOIN THE PARTY, HONKING HORNS AND GENERALLY CLOWNING IT UP.