Monster Masterpiece Marathon


A BUMPER: THE SORT FOR A LOCAL TELEVISION STATION’S HALLOWEEN HORROR MOVIE MARATHON.

MUSIC: GENERIC UPBEAT MUSIC, UP AND UNDER.

STEVIE: (VOICE-OVER) Tonight, the crazy train makes another stop between sanity and madness for the next chilling installment of “Cinematico Magnifico’s Cinematic Monster Masterpiece Marathon”!

MUSIC: SOME CAMPY, YET MENACING DIDDY. UP, UNDER

STEVIE: (VOICE-OVER) Dr. Howard Fine thought she was just another face in a hotel bar. But when the woman’s face changed, he’s left with only one question, “Who is… Audrey?” Find out the answer at 5:05, when the nightly scares begin with “Audrey”!

MUSIC: A CAMPY, YET WHOLLY UN-MENACING MELODY.

STEVIE: (VOICE-OVER) Then, at 7:05… Bronson Pubic-Lice is a man rough around the edges, and too quick to bite. But after a night out with the boys goes horribly wrong, all he really wants to be… is a good boy. John Jablonksi and Maggie Sex-Pun star in: “I’m a Middle-Aged Werewolf,” a second act with a twist.

MUSIC: A DISTINCTLY MENACING TUNE.

STEVIE: (VOICE-OVER) But then, at 9:05… All Jack Jacksonnovan wanted was one last Halloween with friends. Now he’s making sure the screams never end. Elongated Nipples is… Pumpkinstiltskin! You’ll be goard out of your mind!

MUSIC: A COOL, YET UNCOOL CAMPY INDIE 90S VIBE.

STEVIE: (VOICE-OVER) And for one last unpleasant scream before bed… the 90’s comedic action-horror indie cult classic, “This Girl is Poison!” Featuring Allonna Woman as January Embers, a woman on the run from her past and a price on her head. But just when she’s forced to return to her hometown, an evil poisonous cloud threatens to kill everyone!

MUSIC: RETURN OF THE GENERIC, UPBEAT MUSIC.

STEVIE: (VOICE-OVER) All this tonight and more all month long as part of “Cinematico Magnifico’s Cinematic Monster Masterpiece Marathon.” Only on Santa Carla Public Television.