Grand Ghoulish: II-II. One Punch

II-II. ONE PUNCH

THE ALLEY BEHIND THE SMALL ART GALLERY. BRENNIFER SPEAKS TO AN OFFICER. OFFICER SLOWLY, YET UN-ASSUREDLY TAKES NOTES ON A HANDY LITTLE NOTEPAD WITH A LITTLE PENCIL.

HAROLD, MEANWHILE, STANDS BY HIS GRANDMOTHER’S STATION WAGON, PATIENTLY WAITING FOR HIS CUE AS IF HE ISN’T ACTUALLY THERE. HE HOLDS A LARGE FRAMED PHOTOGRAPH UNDER EACH ARM.

OFFICER: Okay. So, would you mind going over this one more time for me?

BRENNIFER: What’s the point of writing all this down if you’re just going to have me repeat it?

OFFICER GESTURES TO THE AUDIENCE.

BRENNIFER: Oh. Right. (TO HAROLD) Go on, then.

HAROLD: You sure?

BRENNIFER: (GESTURES TO AUDIENCE) Wouldn’t want complaints about exposition.

HAROLD: (NODS) Of course.

HAROLD DROPS, SHATTERS FRAMED PHOTOS.

(PRETENDS TO CARE) Oh, no…

(TO BRENNIFER) Like that?

BRENNIFER: It’ll do.

OFFICER: That’s it?

BRENNIFER: Don’t make me have to do this again.

HAROLD: Yeah, what she said. Also, I didn’t bring any more of these to break.

OFFICER: Sorry.

BRENNIFER AND HAROLD GLARE, SHAKE HEADS AT OFFICER. THEN…

BRENNIFER: Right. So, that happened. And then, I walked over to Harold and said… (TO HAROLD) Everything okay? I heard screaming.

HAROLD: Yeah, it’s cool. I always scream when things are okay.

BRENNIFER: (GESTURES TO SHATTERED FRAMES) You need some help with that?

HAROLD: Nah. That was the last of it. Sorry it took me so long to come back for all this.

BRENNIFER: It’s cool. I’m sorry nobody bought anything.

HAROLD: Yeah… But at least I got some work out of it.

BRENNIFER: (PUZZLES THIS) (LAUGHS) Oh, yeah. That weird couple. How’d that work out?”

HAROLD: (LAUGHS) Sophia’s not weird…

BRENNIFER: (GRIMACES) Aw, shit…

HAROLD: (BLINKS) What?

BRENNIFER: You dumb bastard. How long have you been fucking her?

HAROLD: (CONSIDERS THIS) What?

BRENNIFER: (TO OFFICER) You getting this?

OFFICER: (READS) “You dumb bastard. How long have you been fucking her?” (TO BRENNIFER) What next?

BRENNIFER: Right. Well. Then, this dude comes up and–

OFFICER: Dude?

BRENNIFER: Just watch.

BRENNIFER GESTURES FOR THINGS TO PROCEED.

OLIVER ENTERS, PUNCHES AND KNOCKSOUT HAROLD.

OLIVER: (TO BRENNIFER) How was that?

BRENNIFER: Perfect. Thank you.

OLIVER EXITS.

OFFICER: Wait. You didn’t think to warn your friend–

BRENNIFER: (SHAKES HEAD) No, no, no… Harold and I screwed a few times in the utility closet after hours. We weren’t friends.

OFFICER TAKES IN THE PINK-HAIRED WOMAN IN FRONT OF HIM, WONDERS IF SHE SELLS MINERALS OR WEED. THEN…

OFFICER: Right. So, you didn’t think to warn Harold that a (READS NOTES) “very angry dude” was about to start a fight with him?

BRENNIFER: (SHAKES HEAD AGAIN) No. Not a fight – an ass-kicking. The dude threw one punch, then left.

OFFICER:  Okay… But why didn’t you say anything to Harold?

BRENNIFER: (SHRUGS) Maybe I thought he had it coming.

END SCENE.