Bill’s Boards

STEVE: We’ll return in just a moment to, “I Can’t Believe You’ve Done This.” But first, a completely different sketch.

CUT TO:

AN ANNOYING RADIO AD. THE SORT YOU HEAR ON A MORNING COMMUTE AND WISH YOU COULD GET FAR AWAY FROM BUT IS SOMEHOW PLAYING ON EVERY STATION.

OTHER STEVE: Do you have a business, service, or assorted flavor of ponzi scheme? Do you need to reach the least amount of people possible in the smallest radius imaginable in a world that has long since shifted to a global digital marketplace? Do you want to piss away what few marketing dollars you can afford on an eyesore of an advertisement sure to be forgotten and left in tatters in a matter of weeks or eventually covered up by another monstrosity nobody will give the time of a day, except, perhaps, in the form of a sullen sigh of disgust?

AN UNCOMFORTABLE SILENCE.

If so, then you need a Billboard! And here at Bill Billiamson’s Billboards by Bill Billiamson, we’re eager and turgid to take your money in exchange for a billboard designed and abandoned by Bill Billiamson, son of the legendary billboard creator, Bill Billiamson. Organic, inedible, made of one-percent recyclable materials, loose fitting, mint-flavored, smooth, yet rough, California sober, and an Ohio seven, our billboards are sure to be a waste of every dollar.

Bill Billiamson’s Billboards by Bill Billiamson: Because the internet is a strange, mysterious realm of techno-wizardry.