Because You Know What

STEVE: We’ll return to more “You Know What? Because the Thing Is…” in just a moment. But first, a quick message from today’s sponsor, Regret.

Have you passed up the chance to ask that cute toilet attendant to the local sex cafe or scifi and collectable toy convention? Did you put off calling an estranged friend or loved one only to discover they’ve recently passed away? Are you harboring old grudges in the dank, dark pits and crevices of your soul as lingering anger and resentment fester and rot away at your foundation?

Other faceless corporations would have you believe that dealing with such things in a timely manner is the healthy thing to do if one wishes to live a full, happy life with what uncertain time we have left on this planet. But we at Existential Crisis dare to ask, “Why deal with something today when you can Regret it tomorrow?”

Suffocating, sleep-depriving, depressive, uncomfortable in all the right and wrong ways, and utterly painful, Regret is the number one choice for anyone too busy avoiding what really matters until it’s far, far too late.

Tomorrow might not be guaranteed, but Regret is forever! Regret, from Existential Crisis. Find it today in the weeping mess you’ve become.