I find it difficult to not keep myself productive. It’s an unhealthy mentality, for sure. I’m happiest when I produce. But I’m also at my most vulnerable when I can’t, when I come up short, or when I’m simply unhappy with whatever I’ve offered up to an audience. So I often find myself stressing out over my self-perceived failing when all I probably need is to not force it.
There’s a lesson in there. I just wish I could learn it.
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I’m painting nothing
on a blank canvas
with a dry brush
dipped in an emptiness
carved by creative dry-heaves,
staring at the void beneath me.
Am I falling, or am I flying?
— Unproductive. Steve Arviso. 2018