Train of the Dead

There have been Snakes on a PlaneSnakes on a Train, and zombies on a Train to Busan. But when when a robbery goes wrong for a small gang of teenagers, they’ll find themselves facing off against ghosts on a train in Sukhum Mathawanit’s Train of the Dead.

Someone out there will be fine with this one. Probably

The plot is basic. The scares are non-existent. The attempts at comedy are so bad that they’re almost funny in spite of itself. The paper-thin stock characters just sort of take their time going from one scene to the next until they get on the train. And then it becomes your typical haunted house ride that plays out as you’d expect.

I mean, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. But it’s not necessarily a good thing either.

Honestly, this feels like a Thai version of an X-Files episode. Or Tales from the Crypt. It’s just sorta weird, genre-y, and unafraid to just embrace it’s campy nature and tone while also being very dark. So much so that if you’ve seen these sorts of movies or TV shows before, you can probably figure out exactly how it all play sout. Of course, the difference here is that those shows are some 25 or 45 minutes without the commercials while this movie is a 90 minute movie.

To be fair, that still makes this like hundreds of times better than most of the horror dribble you’ll find on Netflix at the moment.

Broadly speaking, the acting is fine. The visuals are fine. The idea is fine. Even the comedy and horror stuff is fine, given the style of movie this is. It’s all just “fine.” It’s neither a great movie nor an unwatchable movie, much like it’s neither really a scary movie or a comedy. It’s just sorta all there and it’s “fine.” And if “fine” is good enough for you, give Train of the Dead a chance. But I suspect it being “not unwatchable” isn’t enough to keep those who bother sticking around till the end.

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