Pro-Solution.

I think I might have a solution to the whole pro-choice/pro-life argument:

Maybe babies shouldn’t be considered people until they’re capable of holding a decent conversation.

Like, it can’t just sit there and listen to me bitch. My dog can do that.

But my dog can’t talk back. So, like, that point when the kid proves themselves capable of engaging in better small talk than my dog.

But not some dumb-ass dog, though. Dumb dogs are sweet and lovable as hell. I’ll give them that. I love me a dumb dog. But, personally, I believe we should hold our children to a higher standard than that. I expect at least terrier-level intelligence in my children.

Steve Arviso
A former professional hugger, Steve Arviso is now a semi-pro writer with a love for pop culture and a face made for radio. He often spends what money he does have on penny whistles and moonpies.

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