Nightworld, from Patricio Valladares, is about a depressing loser can’t stop dreaming and being sad about his dead wife, then his buddy gets him a job. S’bout as far as I can make of it from the first ten minutes of this non-movie.

Lotta movies open with that same slow-as-shit, fuckin’ drone shot of the river cutting through a buncha trees. And like, maybe two of them are any good. Maybe a handful worth even looking at past that goddamn drone shot.

It’s just a movie about a depressing motherfucker who can’t get over his dead wife, so he talks like he’s in every bad horror novel from the 1980s and/or the internet. Can’t stop having dreams about her. Can’t stop being a depressing asshole about it. And then his buddy hooks him up with the vaguest fuckin’ job offer. Like, we literally get no details about it, these people, or what they even do for a living. It’s just this depressing dude and his non-character of a buddy.

Nothing fuckin’ happens. He’s sad, has a bad dream, and then fucks off to Bulgaria for no reason that we know of.

There’s nothing resembling anything of a movie here. The dialog is barely that. The acting, too. No story. No plot. No characters. No sense. No rhyme or reason or purpose.

If you’re looking for a depressing waste of effort, maybe Nightworld a whirl. It’s got the dude who used to play Freddy Krueger in it somewhere. Maybe you can treat it like a game, see how long you can last. If you see Robert Englund, you win. But even then, you still lose.

Aren’t games fun?

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