There is a time and place for which there is a time and place.
This is not the time, nor is it the place, I’m sorry to say.
It is some other time that is not quite a good use of it,
some place that is not quite the point,
and either really could be defined in rather simple and direct terms
if one gave a shit about brevity.
This is not that, though.
It is, however, what one might call
A Complete Waste of Time.
from the mind and madness of
“Amoral Crackpot” Stevie Arviso
CURRENT EVENTS
- Man in His 40s Starting to Think Career as Teen Heartthrob Might Soon Be Out of Reach.Don’t let his thinning hair, sagging skin, and college-aged child fool you, Ritchie Bellend, 48, is the latest teen heartthrob you never heard of. Best known for his YouTube Channel, Bellend1994ever, Ritchie has spent the last 34 years trying to live an American dream.… Read more: Man in His 40s Starting to Think Career as Teen Heartthrob Might Soon Be Out of Reach.
- Russia Lowers Conscription Age for Mandatory Military Service to 7 Years Old.In an announcement this morning from Russia’s Secretary of Child Warfare, Ivan Stooginov, the Russian military has immediately lowered the age for mandatory service to 7 years old. “If child can hold gun, they can do so on frontlines like rest of poors and… Read more: Russia Lowers Conscription Age for Mandatory Military Service to 7 Years Old.
- Disgraced TV Actor Harold “Harry” Bigfoot, 58, Found Dead In A Buena Park Motel Pool.Actor and missing link Harry Bigfoot, best known as the star of semi-biographical film and sitcom “Harry and the Hendersons,” was found dead Tuesday in a motel pool in Buena Park, California. He was 58. Animal control agents responded to the scene after complaints… Read more: Disgraced TV Actor Harold “Harry” Bigfoot, 58, Found Dead In A Buena Park Motel Pool.
- Intoxicated Marjorie Taylor Greene Admits It’s All an Act, Reveals She’s Actually Actress and Light-Sketch Comedian Tweety McDanielsWhen a drunk and urine-soaked Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, R-Ga., went live on TikTok this past Saturday night, viewers rightfully assumed she was going to rant about Jewish Martians stealing elections with their hypno-rays, or that Joe Biden is a holographic projection. But rather… Read more: Intoxicated Marjorie Taylor Greene Admits It’s All an Act, Reveals She’s Actually Actress and Light-Sketch Comedian Tweety McDaniels
CULTURE
- The Most Depressing Place in FontanaWhy settle for the lifelong memories of theme parks, exotic locals, and red light districts when there’s a futon that smells like cat pee and a bed sheet hanging where a door used to be? In a remote corner of Fontana, where the grass… Read more: The Most Depressing Place in Fontana
- One Man’s Trash is Another Man’s DinnerLeave the Keto-friendly elk meat and vegetable smoothies to the rich elites who can afford such luxuries, because a new diet is here to save us common folk. As the economy soars to historic heights, Americans are left seeking alternatives to starvation. Enter: “Urban… Read more: One Man’s Trash is Another Man’s Dinner
- I Like Watching the Life Fade From Their EyesSome paint landscapes. Others paint portraits. But one sick freak paints the final moments of dying strangers. The “He Was Like That When I Got Here” Art Show opened today in the alley behind the Circle K in Downtown Long Beach. On display are… Read more: I Like Watching the Life Fade From Their Eyes
- 25 years ago, the world forgot about him. Until today.In 1999: the Euro was created; The Matrix convinced every dweeb without a personality to buy a trench coat; and B*Witched was a thing for some reason. But for Barry Lincoln, it was the year he finally got his life together. Born to Hagatha… Read more: 25 years ago, the world forgot about him. Until today.
NATURE
- Crocodiles are spreading conspiracy theories online. Here’s why we’re worried.For decades, scientists have warned us of the dire consequences of man’s inexplicable war on nature: the oceans continue to warm; wildfires overstay their welcome even when you tell them you have work in the morning; and organic life slowly replaced by plastic doppelgangers.… Read more: Crocodiles are spreading conspiracy theories online. Here’s why we’re worried.
- The Soul Coral of the PacificFound in both the sunlit shallows and darkest depths of the Pacific Ocean, the soul coral forms structures resembling the eternally tormented faces of its victims. And while research and assorted tales date back centuries, modern attempts to photograph or record footage has, thus… Read more: The Soul Coral of the Pacific
- How Hot is the Sun? They Sent a Man on a One-Way Deathtrip to Find Out.For millennia, the sun has scared, confused, and mercilessly killed mankind just for the thrill. It abandons us during winter and abuses us come summer. And due to a seemingly endless, wholly passive-aggressive silent treatment, its reasoning for all this will likely remain a… Read more: How Hot is the Sun? They Sent a Man on a One-Way Deathtrip to Find Out.
- The California Parking Lot SpiderEvery year, more than 500,000 people are reported missing in the United States. An estimated 10% can be attributed to the critter commonly known as the California parking lot spider. Originally found in the deserts, canyons, and forests of California, decades of hikers, campers,… Read more: The California Parking Lot Spider
I’m publicly hanging
by the tightening threads
of an unraveling mind
someone keeps knitting and knitting.