When a drunk and urine-soaked Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, R-Ga., went live on TikTok this past Saturday night, viewers rightfully assumed she was going to rant about Jewish Martians stealing elections with their hypno-rays, or that Joe Biden is a holographic projection.
But rather than yet another incoherent string of crackpot conspiracy theories, something else entirely happened.
“I can’t do this anymore,” she said, tears in her eyes. “I want my life back.”
She then removed her blonde wig to reveal a chic pixie cut.
“My real name is Tweety McDaniels, and I am an actress.”
Over the course of three hours, McDaniels spoke at length about her early career as a struggling young actress in 1990s Hollywood, featuring in ads for discount hemorrhoid cream and starring in schlocky direct-to-video horror films, such as “Homeschool Massacre 2” and “Murder Hamsters Go to College.”
But it was around the two-hour mark when she revealed the origins of the deranged, conspiracy-fueled persona of Marjorie Taylor Greene.
“It started as a bit for a sketch comedy show we were doing at a laundromat in Burbank,” she said. “A tape of the show somehow got into the hands of someone at the Georgia Republican Party, they thought it was real, and the rest is history.”
When one viewer asked McDaniels if she regretted her role in hastening the downfall of American society, McDaniels only nodded.
“I never thought it’d go this far, or for this long,” she said. “But between all the drinking and drugs and daily threats of violence and death by various Russian-controlled assets in the GOP, Tweety McDaniels faded away until nothing was left.”
The video has since been deleted.